Royal Pains : My Royal Pain in the Ass
by TheBigRoyalPain
Summary: Hank has a new patient, his brother and Tucker! In the episode Evan has been messing around in their guest house and ends up hurting himself seriously. He calls Hank’s cell and tells Hank to come because he has been hurt.Hank is busy and haschoicestomake


Show Title: Royal Pains

Episode Title: My Big Royal Pain

Rating: PG-13

Characters: Hank, Evan, Divia, Jill, Tucker, Libby

Summary: Hank has new patients, Tucker and his brother ! In the episode Evan has been messing around in their guest house and ends up hurting himself seriously. He calls Hank's cell and tells Hank to come because he has been hurt. Hank is busy helping tucker who has cut his hand on a knife because he decided to entertain himself by juggling them. Hank fixes his hand and returns home. Evan refuses to go to the hospital and Hank has to decide whether to follow his brother's wishes or not.

Disclaimer: I do not own this show or the character titles but the plot is not an original episode created by the producer or writers for Royal Pains.

Story:

Its morning and Hank just received a phone call at 4:00 am.

"Hello?" It's Libby.

"Hank, it's Tucker, He is hurt." Hank doesn't know whether to pull on his pants and run to Tucker's house or to sit here and listen to Libby whine. Libby has called Hank many times since his first visit about her Web MD "condition". "Libby, how exactly is Tucker hurt?" Libby starts talking really fast so Hank can barely hear a word she is saying but he catches it all in the last minute and jumps out of bed and pulls on a pair of tan pants of a night stand. "I'll be right there Libby tell him to wrap it in a towel and stay put." Hank puts on a button up shirt, grabs his keys and walks out the front door. We see Hank drive off in his car and the scene returns to the Guest House. Evan just woke up and decides to go bother Hank with more "Hank Med." Ideas. He walks into Hanks room where all the sheets on his bed are messed up and Hanks keys are gone. Meanwhile Hank has arrived at Tucker's and Libby is leading him to the kitchen where Tucker is sitting at the dining room table where his left hand is wrapped in a towel that is drenched with blood. "Tucker, what were you doing?" Tucker just looks at Hank and Libby starts speaking. "He was bored and I was on Web MD and Tucker went into the kitchen to get some food and then I heard him yell. I rushed down and I found him in the kitchen with a knife through his hand". Hank looks at Tucker and waits for him to speak. "Libby is just overreacting, the knife didn't even go completely through the hand and I didn't come down here for food, I was bored and I came down for something to do and that something just happened to be juggling knifes." "God Tucker your dad already fired me and you just happen to get in more trouble so Libby can call me?" Libby decides it's her turn to speak. "Hank, I know Tucker did something stupid but can you just help his hand? He could have nerve damage or something." "All right Libby." Hank peels the towel of Tucker's hand to reveal a knife sticking about half way in his hand and a lot of blood. Hank starts to talk again as his cell phone rings and we get a split-screen image of Hank and Evan talking. "What do you want, Evan? I am with a patient." The scene shows Evan Laying on the ground with a cell phone in one hand and his other hand limp and bleeding with glass stuck in it. Evans Leg is also shown smashed under a recliner chair. Evan starts speaking his voice a little more coarse than usual. "Hey, Hank can you tell your patient something for me?" Hank turn's to Libby. "Can you excuse me for a second?" Hank gets up and walks outside onto the upper porch. "Ok, Evan what do you want me to tell my bleeding patient?" Evan rolls his eyes at the hinted sarcasm. "Tell your patient that you have another bleeding patient with a crushed leg." Hank suddenly takes an interest. "Oh, Evan who would this patient is?" There is a sudden moment of silence and Evan speaks. "Me!" Hank, surprised, Hangs up and makes another call and then the scene moves to Hank arriving back at the Guest House. Hank walks in and looks around. The place is a huge mess and Evan is in the middle of the room crushed under a huge recliner and he also has his hand extended to his side with a broken lamp on it. "Oh my god, Evan what did you do?" Evan looks at Hank smiling." Don't smile at me like that, Evan! What did you do?" Evan still smirking responds. "Well since you left I was bored and I decide to get into Borace's sport's supplies and I found a football. I started throwing the football around when it ricocheted off the wall and hit the lamp that was next to me which smashed into my side then hit my hand and I fell down. I tried to use the recliner to get up and it tipped over on my body and I couldn't get up so I reached for my cell and called a concierge doctor." Hank is leaning down looking at Evan's hand clearly annoyed with the smirk on Evan's face. "Evan stops smiling." Evan smiles even more and replies. "I will stop smiling when you tell me if you are going to kiss my hand or fix it up." Hank is not amused. "Evan we need to get you to a hospital. This isn't funny. There is a lot of glass in your hand and I don't even know if you can walk on your leg yet." Evan smiles again. "Then call Divia!" Hank reluctantly takes out his cell phone and calls Divia and we get another split screen image of Divia and Hank talking. "Hello, this is Divia." Hank starts talking. "Hey Divia can you come down to my place, I need some help?." Divia's eyebrows rise as she responds. "Why, Hank? What's wrong? Why your house, don't we normally meet at the patients place?" Hank sighs and responds. "Evan was stupid enough

To make himself our patient." Divia surprised responds to Hank's curious answer to all of her questions. "What did Evan do, give himself a serious paper cut? Come on, I'm surprised it took him this long to get himself hurt while you weren't around." Hank sighs agreeing with Divia's smart-ass comment. " Divia can you just come here please?"

Divia sighs but gives in. " Sure Hank I'll be right over." The scene ends with hank closing his cell phone and it changes to Divia getting in her car. The scene changes back to Divia and Hank lifting the recliner off of Evan at the Guest House and Evan wimping in pain trying to keep a smile on his face just so he can bug Hank. Divia see's his face and gives him a short lecture on his obnoxiousness. " God, Evan it is suprising how obnoxious you can be to your brother and me even when you are hurt and we are helping you." Evan replies by swearing at Hank who is looking to see if he has any broken bones in his leg. " Divia, do you have your small x-ray machine it is hard to tell if anything is broken just by feeling his leg. " I'm afraid Evan broke it on our last visit you requested I make to check on the Man who's hand Evan hurt last week." Hank rolls his eyes. " Evan, we have to get you to a hospital. We can't find out whether your okay or not right here. Evan laughs rudely. " Come on, Divia you don't have anything for me." Divia looks at Evan angrily. " No , I don't thanks to you Evan." Hank smiles at Divia while Evan comes up with an idea. " Hey Hank what about your girlfriend at the hospital?" Hank looks surprised. " So your agreeing to come to the hospital?" Evan laughs. " No way Hank, I'm saying we could ask her to get us an x-ray machine." Hank stares at Evan. " Evan, I have already borrowed her MRI Machine and I have broken the rules in front of her to save a life. I am not going to take away equipment from her hospital when we can just go there to use it." Everyone is quiet till Evan smiles , annoying everyone, and starts speaking again. " Ok, I will go to the hospital on one condition." Hank looks irritated. " And that condition would be?" Evan still smiling responds. " You get your pretty little girlfriend to x-ray my hand and leg without making any of us fill out paperwork and without admitting me." Hank ponders over this suggestion and then agrees. The scene changes and Hank and Jill are talking. " Hank, Evan can only have this hospital room for a little bit there are other people who need it." Hank responds knowingly. " I know and I am grateful that you helped us even knowing Evan's conditions." Jill laughs. " Spite his conditions his condition is pretty bad and it is my job to help someone in need." Hank laughs too but Evan interrupts. Evan holding up his newly casted arm speaks. " Hey, I'm sorry to interrupt your flirting session but the only thing you have fixed so far is my hand." Jill now annoyed is the first to respond. " Well Evan we are waiting for x-ray of your leg to finish developing. A few minutes later Jill is showing Evan the x-ray of his leg and explaining his condition and how things are going to be for a few months. " Your hand is broken and won't heal for a while and your leg has a decent fracture. You have dislocated your tibia from your ankle and you have broken your ribula. You wont be able to do much for about 3 months but the news is that we are going to put a cast on your leg and give you a wheel chair." Jill leaves the room where Evan isn't smiling anymore. Divia sarcastically tries to cheer him up." Hey Evan look on the bright side some girls like guy's with injuries but even though I say this don't have this happen again or I will kill you." With that Divia leaves and Hank goes out too but unlike Divia he heads torwards Jill's office and not the front door. Jill see's him and invites him in. " So, Hank are you going to tell him we couldn't legally follow his wishes so we broke them?" Hank sighs. " No, He will be mad and I don't want him to be. Whether he know's it or not I really care for him and I appreciate what he does for me." Jill smiles. " Your a great guy and he knows. Jill kisses Hank on the cheek. " Hey, Hank should we go check on Evan before he breaks something in his room or hurt's himself again?" Hank smiles. " Sure, but who knows maybe he is behaving himself." They walk into Evan's room to see Evan smiling at a nurse who is looking for Evan's file that Hank and Jill hid. " Oh Hello, Nurse Tueyther may I ask what you are looking for?" The nurse turns to them." Well, I am looking for his file. He say's his name is Evan but he won't tell me where his file is." Jill and Hank smile and they pull her out of the room and shut the door. Hank looks at Jill and Jill speaks. " Well, Nurse the boy in there ( gesturing to hank) is his brother and he wouldn't come to this hospital unless we agreed to not admitt him so we hid his file so he doesn't know we admitted him." The nurse is not smiling. " But even thought it's illegal to treat him and not keep record of it, it is also illegal to do something that has to do with a patient without his permission unless he cannot respond and then it is up to a family member but he can clearly respond well." Jill and Hank exchange glances. " Nurse, you may leave now anyway this is my patient and under my jurresdiction, so my question is why were you in his room in the first place." The nurse looks scared. " Well i didn't mean to go to your patient without permission but he called me and said he needed help." Hank and Jill exchange glances and Hank speaks. " Nurse Tueyther, my brother called for your help because he thinks your hot not because he needed help." The nurse looks disgusted now and just walks away and Jill speaks to Hank. " That was handled nicely." Hank smiles. " I was just doing my job. Taking care of my misguided annoying brother." Jill Laughs." Well, if you get time off from that job we should get lunch." Hank smiles. " Well if he isn't too much of a pain I might have tuesday off." Jill agrees. " Tuesday it is then?" Hank smiles. "I guess so." The scene now changes and ends as we see the sunset through the front doors off the hospital and Hank and Evan are smiling as a nurse holds the doors open and Hank pushes Evan out.


End file.
